Leoncavallo and other stories

The opera was great. I do not fancy opera, I never did. Maybe it is because of my father, that hates it. Maybe is because I cannot understand what they sing in my own language. I found myself reading the subtitles in dutch trying to follow what they were singing. But when Canio started with "Ridi Pagliaccio" I got the shivers running all over me. 2 hours flew away like a "battito di ciglia" and I found myself screaming bravo and clapping hands loud. There is something about doing things for the first time, something incredible that makes you feel like a kid, that makes you open your eyes up wide and capture every little shade, something that deepen your senses, changes your perspective, makes you feel like a virgin.

When I walked out Amsterdam looked even more beautiful. I was in a glorious mood. I met with Nando, Enrichetta and her father again. I was very open to some conversation and we discussed about the opera and Amsterdam and Holland and how good it is to be here.

Strange days

Today was a strange day. I decided not to go to Breda and stay here in Amsterdam. The plan was to go to the opera, Pagliacci: Ridiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii Pagliaccioooooooooooooooo that is all I knew about it. I woke up before the alarm clock, fixed myself a royal breakfast like I never do, showered and jumped on my oma fiets to go and get the tickets at Nando's place since he had forgotten his wallet at home. I am always amazed by the beaty of Amsterdam when am I am not obsessed about getting to places in time and the sun was brightening things up. I was feeling good. I locked my bike and ran up the stairs. Irene was there and we had a small chat since I always have "cockroaches in my ass" like they say in Kosovo. I quickly run to the Muziek Theather but I had to wait. There was a delay with the rehearsal. After half an hour Nando came out and had this plan of me getting in and jump into the "buca" to get access to the artists restaurant. I was scared about it, since I am notoriously brave, but I said yes and walk into the Theather. Fortunately doors were shut and I could not get in so I met him in the hall. We were walking around spotting preys when he saw Enrichetta. They waved and we walked to her. She is the "Prima Ballerina" of the theather and she was sitting at a table with her father. After 10 seconds she was already on my nerves. I quickly looked through her accessories. A Luis Vitton bag, prada boots and an attitude. It was time to move on, the show was about to begin. I found my place and I was looking around amazed. The intense red, the ceiling lights, the sound of the tuning instruments. I was like in a trance, my arms on the balcony, my head resting on them...

Are you talking to me?

What am I looking for?

What am I looking for in the end? What is it that really matters? Maybe Pleasure? Joy? What about Happiness? Should I care about my health, quit coffee or other delicious things because they are armful to my body? Should I find the balance between body and mind, starting to clean up the first so that conscience would follow? Should I try to put myself into situations never experienced before?

To breath fresh air and keep my spirit alive. That is what I am going to do. Or should I rather study, grow professionally and cultivate my career?

Don't Trust Anybody Over Thirty.

La Medicina. (Medicine, Medizina)

La Medicina. (Medicine, Medizina)

On a Friday one tend to relax because it is the end of the week, the week end is about to begin. It made less productive today but around three, when I thought I was about to give up, a new spirit came in and brought renewed energy.
I said to myself: "This will be done by the end of the day, whatever time it may take."; it worked. What I promised myself to do was done and I stepped out 'cause I couldn't wait any longer for the week end to begin.

And there was winter, all of a sudden, deep, cold rainy streets. I was in such a storm, walking to the office this morning, I would had really want to be everywhere else but there but one just follows his instincts and does what he, in that very self moment, considers right to do. It comes so natural that just talking about it makes it loose its conceptual simplicity. But is after all this simple?

That is why medicine, because medicine heals. Can it be found only inside us or can it be found elsewhere? Sure we always look for something to alleviate our pain, our fears and our monotonous habits.

I knew it

I knew it was going to happen. I had no time to post in the last two months. I had no time. Where does all the time go? It went into the long hours spent on the "Sip Pin Migration", project that turned into a nightmare. This one night I came back at midnight, I took a piss and I went to bed. During the night I continued working, mapping attributes in my tormented sleep, because of course the attributes wouldn't map. But it's finally over, this new Workflow went online today and it seems to work fine so bring it on! So that's how I invested my week days in the last 5 weeks or more. In the weekends I have been busy with my new apartment in Breda. The plan was it had to look great. The result was a mess, a place I was not able to sleep at, rest or relax in, but that instead required a lot of work: we painted walls, doors, Jeroen builded this fancy wooden thing around the radiator in the living room. The moquette was removed and now looks so crappy I am thinking about buying new fake wood floors. It finally starts to look decent again and I have a wonderful view on the "Ons lieve Vrouw" church tower clock.

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Hmmm I do not listen to my inner voice...

I was about to stay home tonight. I finally watched "Toy Story". Since I came back at 8 am this morning I decided to have a relaxed night at what is going to be my home for 5 more days...but it didn't work, Giuseppe called around midnight, he was just ready with work and we went to the Gold. From the very first moment I stepped outr my door I knew it was not going to be what I planned it to be...but it was a nice evening, the place was packed and the music was good. I ran on red whine tonight.

Pollution

Map of the pollution in Europe. I picked up a good place to live...

Ops I did it again

Last night I was in the mood again. I would had go out earlier but I waited on Giuseppe. He was at home watching "Blow" so I went to Tapa Rita, a tapas bar in Breda, where Antonio's was working. Paul, the owner of the place, offered me a beer and we had, as usual, an incredibly small chat. We are both scrooges when it comes to words. Then Antonio showed up for a second, busy as he was cleaning up the kitchen. At 11 Giuseppe arrived and we have been there chatting for a while. Antonio had his plan for the evening already so me and Giuseppe went to "the Gold". That was the beginning of the usual weekend evening in Breda. After the Gold, the Bommel, where nothing really significant happened and after the Bommel the Oebele where I met Maya's Sister, which was supposed to stay at my apartment in Amsterdam in case of need but unfortunately (and only last night I found out it was unfortunate) she never came. She has a boyfriend anyway. I am not jealous though. Antonio joined us with his girl. At 2 o'clock bars close in Breda so we went to El Greco (for a change) to have a tasty pita. I wouldn't be surprised you can smell the garlic just reading this. There was this couple I already met, friends of Willemein, Giuseppe's future wife. With them was Susanna, a fake brunette, that attended New Years Eve party at Giuseppe's last year when I unfortunately was in Italy. She has a boyfriend though. I wouldn't have mind anyway. Everybody decided to go home so I was the only one willing to go on (as usual) so I stepped into the Nacht Wacht.

That was the beginning of the end.

Dinner Time!

Yesterday afternoon, while sitting at his desk, just next to mine, Iwein came up with a nice idea: "why don't we go shopping and eat at your place, all of us?". And so we did. We went to my favourite friend shop (Albert Hein) and we bought a good bottle of wine, italian of course, beer and all the necessary to fix a "burrito". Everything worked out just fine. Bronagh also joined while Jean-Francois was too busy and didn't manage to leave the office before 10. Definitely a pleasant evening, one of the nicest since I moved to Amsterdam.

Schitterend

A lovely view of the mountains I come from: I will never get use to the flatness of the dutch landscape.

Mah

It's always hard to start anything, a book, a letter, a postcard, an email...but that's me I guess. Let's try and see what happens. I think I am gonna forget about this tomorrow. Maybe not. Maybe this will be my digital diary. I never had a real one though. It's never too late to have a diary, is it?